


Invader Ilk

by Ladyanaconda



Series: Shades of Purple [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Culture, Gen, Humor, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Mulan reference, One-Shot, Original Character(s), Shades of Purple, Shades of Purple spin-off, Short One Shot, Sobr, Sobrekt - Freeform, Training Camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28083990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyanaconda/pseuds/Ladyanaconda
Summary: Ilk's first day out in the open doesn't go as planned.
Series: Shades of Purple [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057409
Kudos: 1





	Invader Ilk

**Author's Note:**

> I know I haven't worked on the main story of Shades of Purple, but while you wait I decided to bring you a spin-off featuring none other than Ilk, who in this AU was assigned to Sobr as an Invader. 
> 
> Don't get a too hopeful, though, as this is only a one-shot depicting Ilk's first experience as an Invader in the Shades of Purple AU. The main story will give hints as to what happened during her time on Sobr.

Ilk stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her holographic disguise had no defects so far; she looked like a female kryvtor in the flesh. Heck, even mom and dad thought she was one to the point dad actually  _ fainted _ when she called them not long ago. Now all she had to do was play the part. It couldn’t be that hard, right? She just had to walk around and pretend to pick a fight with whoever looked at her in the eye… 

Something she  _ hates _ to do. 

Taking a deep breath to inflate her chest, Ilk took a few wary steps forward trying to imitate kryvtor body movements. Walking with digitigrade legs was far harder than it seemed, especially for someone with regular legs.

“Excuse me, I’m new here, where am I supposed to sign up?” She spoke, trying to sound confident. “Ah! I see you have a katana! Well, I got one too-!” Ilk’s hold on the home-made plasma knife slipped as it got stuck in its sheath. She tried pulling it out, but ended up pressing the button to activate the blade; in short, the knife ended up stuck on the wall.

“ _ Kill her, she’s an Irken Invader. _ ”

“I’m rehearsing!” Ilk snapped at the ceiling, referring to the AI. Sighing, she dropped unto the couch and deactivated her disguise, going back to her Irken form.

“ **Mistress, your overall performance was 85% acceptable. At best, you can pass as the awkward newbie who has no clue to what’s going on.** ” 

“Thanks, DIR.” Ilk sighed. “Computer, do you have the information I asked you to research?”

“ _ Yes, mistress _ .” The AI projected an hologram of one of the planets in the solar system. “ _ Midosis is used as a military training planet by the Sobrekt government. They are sent there as soon as they have turned six months old and are raised in the arts of war and taught every combat style. After graduation, they may choose to continue training in a particular area of the military or directly start their military service. _

“ _ For individuals born out of the Dylinae Solar System, they often show up as teens or young adults. They aren’t typically put with the hatchlings because they already have some combat experience and are directly assigned to a battalion to start their military service instead _ . _ They  _ may _ engage in training if they wish to hone their skills, though _ .” 

“And where do I sign up?” 

“ _ You just talk to someone in the administrative area and they’ll assign you an area and battalion according to your current skills. _ ”

“ **Mistress, I took the liberty to research all the areas in the Sobrekt Military and point out those you’d excel at** .” DIR held up the Irkpad, which Ilk accepted. 

“Thanks, DIR.” 

Honestly, she hadn’t been so sure about accepting DIR from dad. She’s always wanted to earn things out of her own merit instead of relying on the ‘daughter of the Tallest’ status to have everyone automatically kiss the ground she walked on. However, now she was glad she accepted the customized SIR; it soon proved to be ot only an useful assistant and well-equipped robot, but also a good friend to vent to and who was always looking out for her. It almost felt as if her father had somehow put a part of him in DIR to keep looking after her.

Okay, most of the areas in the Sobrekt Military are related to close combat wielding blades, and the ones related to hybrekts can’t be applied to until one has served for at least five Sobrekt years. The categories DIR had marked involved engineering, military research, Spec Ops and other not-so-militaristic areas such as Armada pilot or geneticist. Ilk could pick the last one, but it’d look suspicious for a newbie raised off-planet and with no proper knowledge of hybrekts to show sudden interest in the genetics area. It’d be best to start off with something related to combat. 

And so she picked the SpecOps.

* * *

Landing at Midosis and signing up wasn’t as hard as Ilk initially thought it would be. The Sobrekt in the desk didn’t even spare her a glance as he typed her name into the system, asked some routinary questions and sent her to Training Field 5 on the northern side of Midosis. 

“ _ DIR, do you copy _ ?” Ilk sent the message to her robot via  _ PAK _ -mail so as to avoid being overheard.

“ **_DIR reporting in, mistress_ ** .” 

“ _ I was assigned to Training Field 5. Meet me there.” _

“ **_On my way._ ** ”

After taking a small transport ship carrying soldiers back and forth from the north, Ilk made her way through various military training fields, looking for number 5. To her surprise, most of them consisted of traditional bunker-like housing and many miles of open fields. Ilk saw hundreds of soldiers, Sobrekt and Kryvtor alike, engaging in exercises or just hanging around during breaks. 

DIR joined her in her flaming new holo frill-neck disguise at the entrance of Training Field 5. 

“ _ Anything interesting? _ ” Ilk inquired.

“ **_I located the areas where hybrekts are kept, but security is considerably higher than the rest._ ** ” 

“ _ I’m supposed to look for the commanding officer, a Sobrekt named Captain _ .”

DIR blinked. “ **_Is that his rank or his name?_ ** ”

“ _ Both, apparently. I bet Uncle Pur would make fun of it. _ ”

Ilk walked around the camp looking for someone who looked like a higher up. Most Sobrekt in the area looked like regular foot soldiers or other minor ranks, though. Soon she came across an interesting scene: a green female kryvtor punching a young Sobrekt’s chest, aiming at a tattoo he seemed to be bragging about. Snickering, the female high-fived a male with violet scales and a lavender feather crest.

“Hope you can get your money back,” the latter chuckled in amusement. 

Ilk gulped. “I don’t think I can do this…”

“ **_Remember your research, mistress. Don’t let them intimidate you, act like their equal and they’ll treat you as such._ ** ” DIR reminded her. 

“What are  _ you _ looking at?” 

Ilk yelped as she found the female kryvtor right in front of her with a deep frown, defiantly returning Ilk’s gaze. Damn it; rule number one,  _ never _ keep staring or they’ll see it as a challenge. 

“N-Nothing,” Ilk blurted out, cursing herself for stuttering. 

“Funny, it seemed like you were staring at me.” The kryvtor growled. 

“I wasn’t! Come on, it’s not like you’re  _ that _ pretty!!

The violet kryvtor raised an amused eyebrow. Before Ilk could do anything, the female pulled her by the neck of her clothing until their snouts were inches apart, her pupils two thin black lines. 

_ “What did you say? _ ” she hissed in a low voice.

“I-I…” Ilk stuttered again; her lekku flattened against her head under the holographic disguise when the kryvtor raised her claws up to her face. 

“I’m gonna pummel you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy!” Panicking, Ilk somehow slipped out of the kryvtor’s hold. Unfortunately, she tripped with her tail prosthetic and tumbled backward into someone. She instinctively clung to the person’s waist as they fell to the ground.

Ilk found herself on top of a grayish male kryvtor with a blue crest and matching stripes running down the sides of his body. His orange eyes almost looked like they’d pop out of his skull as he stared at her in shock, his cheeks purple. 

Rule number one: no matter what,  _ don’t _ touch another Sobrekt. It’s their version of flirting.

“Um… Sorry?”

“Why, you little-!” 

DIR reacted as the female kryvtor lunged at Ilk with outstretched claws. She tackled into the lizard and set her off balance, knocking her into the ground with an angry shriek. The kryvtor lunged at DIR’s disguised form, but the robot moved out of the way just in time and she ended up tackling into the wrong target: her violet companion. 

“Echo, Foxtrot, knock it off!” The blue-striped male quickly slipped off Ilk’s hold and tried to intervene as the other two lizards vent off unto each other, but ended up getting dragged into the fight.

With her attackers distracted, DIR made a frill-neck cry, urging Ilk to follow it. The Invader got to her feet, narrowly avoiding collision with an orange kryvtor carrying four bowls of a hot meal of sorts, but this caused him to lose balance and his grip on the bowls, spilling their contents all over himself.

“Sorry!” Ilk cried out. 

“After her!” 

DIR led Ilk through the training field with the four kryvtors on hot pursuit. Knowing the couldn’t hope to outrun them, Ilk quickly entered a tent and quickly hid in the corner. Her pursuers ran past her and came out on the other side without noticing, heading right towards a long line of soldiers waiting for their turn to get their bowl of food. The kryvtors dug their heels unto the ground, but they had been moving too fast to come to a full stop and rammed into the Sobrekt at the end of the line. This caused a chain reaction in which the people collapsed a la dominoes, culminating with the cook serving rations and the big pot of stew that spilled unto the ground. 

Ilk knew she was in trouble when all of the fallen soldiers got to their feet with painful groans and walked towards her, claws outstretched, teeth bared and bodies dripping with stew. All of their pupils were so thin they were almost invisible.

“H-Hey, guys…” 

* * *

She didn’t know how, but Ilk somehow managed to avoid getting torn apart. At some point, the soldiers forgot all about her and ended up venting their aggression unto each other, turning the small fight between five kryvtors into a camp-wide brawl. Ilk ended up cowering into a curl ball, face hidden in her arms. DIR positioned herself in her back to protect her  _ PAK _ ; ont hit could disable their holo-disguises, and she certainly didn’t want that to happen right in the middle of a military camp surrounded by angry Sobrekt. 

The brawl lasted for a good few minutes until a deep, authoritative shout boomed through the air. “SOLDIERS!” 

Her surroundings went silent. Three seconds later, all the weight on top of her disappeared.

“She started it!” The soldiers cried in unison, and Ilk imagined they were pointing at her. 

Ilk forced herself to look up when she felt a shadow towering over her, encountering the stern frown of a large, dark green Sobrekt; judging by the color of his loincloth, which shows rank, he must be a captain. Ilk quickly got to her feet, saluted and stamped her tail as per Sobrekt military protocol. 

The captain leaned his head closer to hers, hands behind his back. “I don’t need any troublemakers in my camp.” he growled, narrowing his eyes. 

“S-Sorry,” Ilk cleared her throat and tried to sound more confident. “I mean, sorry you had to see that. But you know, when you get the itching to dig your teeth on something, you just have to scratch it, right?” A nervous chuckle escaped her, but judging by the captain’s deeper frown he didn’t seem to find it funny. 

“What’s your name?”

“I-Ilk, sir!”

“Which clan do you come from?” Ilk froze. Shoot, she hadn’t really thought of a family name. “I, uuhh…” 

“Your commanding officer just asked you a question!” A female kryvtor standing next to the captain hissed sternly.

“I come from a very important clan!” Ilk blurt out in panic. Shit, she couldn’t just make it up: this guy looked like he’d research about her. 

“ **_Mistress, I suggest Foxtrot clan_ ** .” 

“His name is Foxtrot,” Ilk subtly glanced at the violet kryvtor. 

“I didn’t ask for his name, I asked for the name of your clan!” Captain snapped. Wow, he certainly has a good hearing for a reptile.

“ **_How about Achoo?_ ** ”

“Achoo!”

“Yesunheit!” The orange kryvtor said only to receive a smack on the back of his head from Foxtrot.

“What clan are you from?!” Captain all but shouted, at the limit of his patience.

In panic, Ilk responded with the first thing that came into her mind. She didn’t even realize what until Captain repeated it in an skeptical tone. 

“Vermeil clan?” Oh, no. She just gave away her father’s real name.

_ Dad’s going to kill me, but I can’t take it back now _ .

“Y-Yeah! You probably haven’t heard of it because it was settled on an Intergalactic Confederation colony planet. I didn’t want to ignore our people’s bloodthirsty traditions, so I decided to come here and join the military!” 

Captain kept staring down at her for a good while. Ilk contained the urge to gulp the lump in her throat; did he swallow it? He didn’t look like he did. After a few seconds of tense silence, Captain stepped back and proceeded to walk around her. 

“Soldiers!” he spoke in a raised voice so that the other soldiers could hear him. “As punishment for wasting today’s rations, you are to spend the next forty eight hours hunting  _ live _ prey to restock the reserves.” The news was met with loud groans and cries of dismay; lastly, Captain gestured to Ilk. “You can all thank Ilk Vermeil.” 

This time, Ilk  _ did _ gulp at the countless angry glares she received. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I got inspired on Disney's Mulan (the original, not that piece of live-action shit they dared to call a remake) camp scene for most of the fic. What can I say? I thought Ilk would actually resemble Mulan in the same setting.


End file.
